Life.

Jesus is After Me.

My parents say I have one messed up attitude. They think they know what’s going on in our lives - but mine,  you dont wanna know mine. You got lustful thoughts on the side of my mind, hateful words waiting to be released. Twenty-four seven struggling and struggling  just to conquer the sin, but not with my on strength but conquering it through him. If you’re going through this, its not only you. Arguing ; all the damn stupid time! There is not one day where I dont argue with my family. Not one happy moment, all the time solemn. Sometimes i just wanna run away and never come back. Anything we say turns into an argument just like that. I mourn to the heavens “JESUS WHY ME!?”. Arguing, fights; causes my trust to go down the well. This is why never tell my parents anything. I just rely on Jesus to fix all my problems. “Do i rely on him too much?” You know, as a teen growing up, it’s truly hard to honour your mother and father. Satan keeps telling me you’re fat, ugly, & miserable. He keeps me away from reaching Jesus and scraps my relationship with Jesus up tempting me everyday to do impure deeds. It’s really hard to find an escape door to run away ‘cause yet, you would still need your parents. Some say, “Oh you’re such a nice person”. I am tired of hearing that. I am far from that. My life?  Spending more time with my friends than with my family is the last thing I wanna do. I’d choose my ‘friends’ over my family to avoid the fights at home. Trying to put on a fake look to show I’m fine, when I actually need healing. God promised to light up my heart. He did. But there was just some days that light seemed to go out and I forget the word of God. There was just one day where I couldn’t take it anymore. That is today, I chose Jesus’ Path. Actually, Jesus walked in my path. All this time seeking and chasing after God, I didnt notice I was actually running away from him. I realized, God was the one after me. God is chasing after me. Trust in my parents is still little but I’m still learning how to rebuild it with Gods’ help. I know there will be some days where times like this will happen again, but I just gotta keep my faith in him. I love others not ‘cause I have to but I took in how much God loves us so much, I want to show his love to others as well.